Five SA footballers who would bludgeon Bieber
THE big news out of Hollywood this week was superstar singer Justin Bieber throwing down a UFC challenge to actor Tom Cruise.
Here’s our top five SA footballers who we reckon could make a mess of the Biebs if they met face to face in the octagon.
5. Steven Sims
The 1991 SANFL grand final is remembered for all the wrong reasons, with this man right at the centre of it.
Playing for North Adelaide, Sims king-hit West Adelaide’s Matthew Simpson, sending the match into a free-for-all.
We can’t see Bieber fighting dirty, so he’d already be starting behind the eight ball in this bout.
4. Ebony Marinoff
As the best tackler in the AFLW, we reckon ‘Noffy’ would have a pretty mean grappling technique if thrust into a UFC contest.
She currently holds the record for most tackles in an AFLW game, with 21, and Bieber simply would be forced into submission.
It’s pretty hard to fight back when you’re wrapped up in a vice-like tackle.
3. Darryl Wakelin
We’ve included the Port Adelaide defender in this list not because of his ability to throw a punch, but his ability to take one.
Wakelin became a human punching bag for Brisbane’s Alastair Lynch in the 2004 grand final – which the Power won – never faltering as he ducked and weaved haymaker after haymaker.
Bieber would lose through sheer exhaustion trying to knock Wakelin out.
2. Mark Ricciuto
The Adelaide Crows gun will forever have a place in football infamy for his brawl with Port Adelaide’s Josh Carr at the Ramsgate Hotel in 2002.
Boozey and ready to box on, Carr and ‘Roo’ locked horns outside the pub after playing in the Showdown earlier that night, sparking an all-in fight from players of both teams.
Riccuito threw the Power pest over the front bonnet of a car, prompting the ensuing melee, before Carr responded by “squirrel-gripping” the Crows champ.
Shots below the belt are a no-go in UFC, which is why we’ve picked Roo.
1. Dean Brogan
God help Bieber if he met ‘Broges’ in an airport.
The Port Adelaide ruckman made a mess of a 19-year-old Adelaide Crows fan’s nose back in 2006 after he decided to tempt fate and hurl some inflammatory remarks at the AFL big man.
While Bieber is no longer a teenager, he still looks like one, so Brogan would have no problem in putting him on his back.