Heard on the Hill: ‘You can’t kick 45,000 of us out you bald-headed flog’
A Thursday night affair didn’t stop the nuffies from knocking off work early, getting on the grog and tackling some of the big issues in footy.
“Shave your face boy!”
I really did rate this simple call aimed directly at Adelaide youngster Jordan Gallucci.
The Gooch is almost infamously known for his attempt at a dapper moustache and has been sporting the look for some time now.
But that wasn’t enough to please this diehard, and vocal, Crows fan.
The part which made this call one of the nuffiest of the night was when the bloke turned around at three quarter time.
I noticed he himself had one of the scruffiest goaties I’ve ever seen, coolly lit up with a deep tinge of grey throughout.
Tidy up your chin old fella and come back next week with some new material.
“I won’t call you bald but you are follically challenged!”
Now this was not only extremely topical, but one of the most well researched, and clearly rehearsed, lines I’ve ever heard hurled at an official.
Much has been made of the controversy surrounding the “bald-headed flog” comment which saw a Carlton fan removed from Marvel Stadium during the Blues’ clash with Brisbane.
Now what we do know now, according to The Age, is that said Carlton fan did actually do a lot more in terms of inappropriate behaviour.
That being said, it was fantastic to see someone collating their thoughts, being mindful of recent events and throwing out some pure fire at the follically challenged boundary umpire.
Even more ironic was the dude was a bit light on top himself.
You couldn’t dream it up.
“You can’t kick 45,000 of us out you bald-headed flog”
Which brings me to this…
Moments later, another grumpy fan went one step further than our very own bald nuffy and challenged security’s ability to boot out a unified chorus of booing Crows fans.
I have to applaud this gentleman’s gall to blatantly speak up in a very ‘f the system’ type manner.
But that isn’t any kind of behaviour I’d like to be associated with… or is it?
“We can’t call the maggot a bald flog, but you bloody are”
In light of the previous entry, I do have to admit that I had no issues hearing this particular call, aimed directly at Richmond’s Kamdyn McIntosh after a late hit on Adelaide’s Rory Atkins.
I didn’t have any issue hearing it because it actually came directly out of my mouth…
Yes that’s right it’s taken just two weeks for the author of this column to get on the board with a major.
The hit came with around six minutes left in the fourth with Adelaide leading by just 16 points at the time.
My deep hatred of Richmond probably got the best of me at this point and I joined my fellow nuffie brethren by throwing down sweet nothings to blokes who couldn’t even possibly hear me.
On second look, it was purely accidental by McIntosh and if anything, Atkins probably embellished the hit to kill a bit of time.
But let’s not let the truth get in the way of a bit of sub-par banter.
For those wondering, I did get a few laughs from the crowd so ask yourself who the real winner is.
Snapchattin’ with da boyz on the hill
The final entry of the week came early on in the first quarter and it was less about what I heard and more about what I saw.
A group of pretty festive Richmond fans parked themselves directly in front of the scoreboard and lets just say, they certainly had some tickets on themselves.
If the rolled up, tight, three-quarter chinos, the Air Force One kicks and the rat shit side part hair style wasn’t enough to bring up your $14 Adelaide Oval schnitzel burger, the behaviour which followed surely would have.
Four middle-aged gentleman who, upon the first bounce, starting snapchatting the entire game settled in to a night out at the footy.
Much to my shock, their snapchatting efforts swiftly turned to a bit of selfie action, where they proceeded to film themselves letting out some of the most high-pitched wooing I’ve ever witnessed firsthand at Adelaide Oval.
It was not great viewing, cringeworthy even, and those blokes need to take a good hard look at themselves.
Preferably not through the lens of another selfie video though…
Tell us your experience
These are just some of the most interesting calls I heard during my night out at the footy.
I’m sure there were many more and I’d love to hear them.
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