One-eyed: Port Adelaide v Brisbane Lions
Port Adelaide continued its inconsistent pattern in 2019 as it was slaughtered by the rampaging Brisbane Lions at Adelaide Oval on Sunday night.
Hello darkness my old friend. I’ve come to meet with you again.
Well, that happened.
Port Adelaide’s pattern throughout this season has reeked of inconsistency, and after a stellar performance in the Showdown, it once returned to its big ball of mediocrity as it succumbed to the Lions pretty much from the first bounce.
Operation: Destroy Lachie Neale was an unbelievable success, as he had 24 touches and seven tackles.
Unfortunately for Ken Hinkley and his team, limiting Neale to his equal lowest tally of the season doesn’t mean you get the four premiership points.
From the first bounce, Brisbane looked sensational and more aggressive at the ball, while Port showcased its remarkable inability to hit targets…again.
For some reason, the Power also thought belting a player off the ball while being three goals down would be a smart idea.
We were seven goals down within a matter of minutes, and there was barely a whimper from our players.
Credit to Tom Rockliff for having the foresight to see he couldn’t make the distance, and a fair kick from Riley Bonner to get us on the board.
That’ll do pig, that’ll do.
Now each week, I usually write this column with a bit of humour, but there was absolutely nothing about the rubbish efforts dished up by the two co-captains.
Already heavily criticised for even being named co-captains of a club which traditionally runs with one captain, and wears the number one guernsey, both Ollie Wines and Tom Jonas decided lazily soccering the ball along the ground would be acceptable.
That is unacceptable of any Port Adelaide captain, leader or player, and considering Wines’ poor form this year, he would be lucky to be in the AFL side next week. Yes, I’m calling for the captain to be dropped.
An interesting decision was seeing Powell-Pepper, Wines and Rockliff all in the middle at the same time.
Three raging bulls as midfielders. You need some class in there, such as Robbie Gray.
That first quarter was again one of the worst I’d seen all year, and that was largely down to the Lions just being unreal.
The amount of missed kicks, handballs, marks, tackles – y’know, all the basics of football – were astounding.
I actually had to down a few drinks to try and fix some pain…and get my hands on a $6 muffin.
That’s not an exaggeration, the thieves at Adelaide Oval charge you $6 for a bloody muffin.
After getting bent over by pricing off the field, I returned to watch my team get bent over on it.
I’ve never seen so many crap inside 50s in my life.
FANCY WINNING THE INSIDE 50 COUNT AND LOSING BY NEARLY 10 GOALS.
Don’t let the Showdown and Geelong game fool you, Port Adelaide has a lot of issues going on.
How on earth can any side go from a 10-goal win against a solid opposition to being absolutely destroyed by a team which had never won at your home ground?
I just don’t get this team, and there is absolutely no way in hell we’re beating Richmond this week at the MCG.
Port fans, I encourage you to go out and enjoy your Saturday night and switch off your footy apps on your phone…
…unless you’re into watching massacres, in which case, you should seek help.