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One-eyed with Jack Hudson

One-eyed: Port Adelaide v Richmond

Port Adelaide’s win-loss roller-coaster came to a screeching halt as it was slaughtered by a rampant Richmond.

PHOTO: AFL Media.

Everybody Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts. Some. Times.

Alas, the journey of inconsistency has come to an end, and unfortunately I’m saying it a week too late.

The biggest piece of advice I can give to anyone is to never, ever, play video games while watching your team.

Especially if it is a sports video game where you have little control of the outcome, like Football Manager.

Anyway, as I do most weeks, I went into this game against Richmond with no hopes whatsoever.

Amazingly enough, Port delivered what I’d expected, and that was a mauling.

Richmond kicked the first three of the game, yet I felt we were playing…okay?

Zak Butters hit his groove, and booted a couple of majors.

I then followed up by speaking as Butters from South Park for the next 20 minutes.

Now, I love Charlie Dixon as much as the next Port fan, I mean that.

However, how on earth can our star forward MISS A SET SHOT FROM ABOUT 25 METRES OUT ON A BLOODY ANGLE…

…and follow it up with a towering punt from 50 metres?!

One thing I need to address here is the worst 50m penalty in the history of the game.

I understand there’s a struggle to recruit umpires, but seriously.

These umpires need to be more accountable for their errors – I don’t know how, but they do. (Yes, I feel sorry for the North Melbourne fans too).

On a positive note, Karl Amon has been absolutely amazing this season, and deserves all the credits coming his way.

It was at this point, my laptop copped a punching, because someone did something stupid – I honestly blacked out, because it pissed me off that much.

Right, now let’s address the giant elephant in the media right now, because clearly some people have nothing better to talk about.

Xavier Duursma and his bow and arrow celebration is a breath of fresh air to what is a very robotic AFL competition.

Everyone should get off his back and support someone who clearly wants to be a colourful character.

Sport, for the spectator, is about emotion, and even when Michael Walters imitated it the other week, it was enraging (as a Port fan), and great to watch (as a spectator).

Now, back to my ranting and raving about the game.

Brandon Ellis responds to Duursma, and celebrates emphatically.

My only issue with this is he literally only got the ball of Sydney Stack and kicked it from point blank range and RAN AWAY FROM HIM.

Celebrate with him you sausage.

As far as more highlights went, my boy Cam Sutcliffe kicked his first goal for the Power, which filled me with joy.

This week, we have the Giants – who put 50 points past Collingwood in the first quarter…who put 50 points past us in the first quarter.

I fully expect to be 17 goals down at quarter-time.

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Jack grew up in Gawler, South Australia – just 45 minutes north of Adelaide – and has a passion for all things football and soccer. Jack has worked in the media for more than four years, and hosts his own sports show on Barossa radio station BBBfm. He previously played football for Elizabeth, South Gawler, Gawler Central and at junior level with Central District, and is a die-hard Port Adelaide fan.